Relativity: You See Things Differently Than Everyone Else

Relativity two theories put forth by Albert Einstein. Special relativity applies to everything when there is no gravity. General relativity explains gravity and its relation to the forces of nature. The theory transformed theoretical physics and astronomy, though it can be extended to serve us as a mental model. Suppose you are in a plane. You don’t see yourself moving at hundreds of miles per hour. Somebody on the ground does, however. That is your position relative to theirs, and it explains differences in perspective and circumstances.

Boiled down, relativity is the principle that observations depend on the frame of reference from which they are made. Einstein’s theories assert that space, time, and other physical quantities are not absolute. They depend on the observer’s state of motion and gravitational field. Analogically, in day-to-day life, your perceptions, values, and judgments are relative to your individual experience, culture, upbringing, and situation. There’s no single “objective” point of view. Everything is interpreted through your unique lens.

In Einstein’s relativity, time passes at different rates depending on the observer’s velocity. Astronauts on fast-moving spacecrafts thus experience time more slowly than us mere mortals on Earth. Objects in motion also appear shorter relative to a stationary observer. Speeding trains appear compressed to observers on the ground, even if they maintain their normal length. And two events perceived as simultaneous in one frame of reference are not in another. Observers on two different trains might argue about whether two lighting strikes occurred at the same time.

Physics is complicated. Though you can equate the concept to the relativity mental model. Your judgments about success, wealth, and beauty are relative to your surroundings and experiences. A salary that feels modest to you can be high in another region since the cost of living and cultural expectations they hold are different from yours. Same goes for cultural and social norms: what is acceptable or desirable. For instance, direct and open communication is highly-valued in some cultures and seen as rude in others, completely altering the way feedback is given and taken. Even down to your emotional and mental states, your experience is relative. A challenging — perhaps “insurmountable” — task to one person can seem easily conquerable to you, or vice versa.

Real-world instances of relativity:

• Income and Cost of Living: a salary of 50,000 dollars might provide a comfortable living in a rural area. Move to a major city like New York or San Francisco however, and you’ll find it insufficient because of how high the costs of housing and living are. The lesson: perceptions of wealth and success are relative to the local economic context, showing how the same number can mean two different things based on location.

• Cultural Norms and Communication: direct communication is valued in many Western cultures, where clear and concise feedback is seen as efficient and necessary. In contrast, in many East Asian regions, indirect communication is preferred to preserve harmony and respect. The lesson: this underscores that “good” is relative; what is polite and effective in one culture might be seen as blunt and rude in another.

• Perceived Value and Quality: a mid-range restaurant can be seen as excellent in a small town with limited dining options. That same restaurant in a metropolitan area with many high-end establishments might be rated as mediocre. The lesson: the judgment of quality and value is relative to the alternatives available to you and the context in which you are making a decision.

• Emotion Under Stress: waiting for a bus in the cold feels unbearably long, while a fun day at the theme park can make hours fly by. The lesson: your emotional state significantly alters how you see things, demonstrating that even day-to-day experiences are filtered through a relative lens.

• Social Comparison: in a professional setting, a mid-level employee could feel highly successful when weighed against colleagues in the same company. But they would perceive themselves as below average when comparing themselves to industry leaders and other external benchmarks. The lesson: your evaluation of success or failure depends on the reference group, showing just how relative your self-assessments are.

How you might use relativity as a mental model: (1) know your frame — recognize that your understanding is influenced by your context and perspective, and reflect on how background, location, and emotional state change how you interpret the same data; (2) switch your reference — in both personal and professional contexts, step into different viewpoints to understand how relative frames alter your decision; (3) adjust your choice — after factoring in relative conditions when making judgments, make an informed decision (such as by comparing income and costs relative to local standards when budgeting); (4) where you’re coming from matters — when sharing information, provide the context that influenced your perspective, serving as the background details to illustrate how your conclusions were reached; (5) be context-sensitive — understand that what works in one context might be an utter flop in another.