The Myth Of Perfect Timing: A Better Approach

The stars won’t align. Fortune won’t smile upon you. Divine beings won’t intervene. Get real. There is no “perfect” moment. For anything. Children. Marriage. Uncomfortable conversations. Physical exercise. Eating nutritiously. Quitting smoking. Alcohol and substance abstinence. Journaling. Meditating. Switching jobs. Skill acquisition. Learning. Business pursuits. Reading. Freelancing. Healthy sex. Nothing. The time is always wrong.

Pessimistic? No. Optimistic!

Whatever activity or event you can muster up has no perfect time. Prove it yourself. What could go wrong? What are the superior alternatives—in terms of satisfaction, personal growth, and professional gain? What would this cost you, short-term and long-term? You can keep asking. New answers come as you traverse life. Thus, we verified the statement. If you disagree, build your own evidence using the questions above. Even if you pick the most positive events imaginable (i.e. winning the lottery), you’re bound to find the same thing. The time is never right.

Is this a pessimistic view? Not at all. On the contrary, it’s optimistic. Counterintuitive as it seems. If the time is always wrong, the time is always right. Put differently, if you invariably find fault in the current or future moment, there is little to be gained from postponing action. Of course, this isn’t true in some cases. Edge cases. Investing and launching products being examples. Throw your savings into a stock randomly and see for yourself. You might get rich. Very rich. You’ll likely go broke. Very broke. Same for entering markets in business. Early or late means disaster. But for most other ventures? The time is forever right.

Always Wrong, Always Right, Always In Your Head

The point is that no situation, decision, or major shift in life takes place under perfect conditions. External circumstances and internal readiness rarely—if ever—align. Waiting for such order only results in procrastination and frustration. A cryogenic chamber. Viewed through this lens, the notion empowers you. The decision then becomes based on a simple truth. Life ebbs and flows. It is constantly evolving and filled with complexities. Yet it’s through action that growth occurs. The “right” time is then subjective rather than objective.

Optimal Time To Have Kids: Never!

Children. Many parents-to-be delay adding members to the family. Nowadays more than ever. The ideal financial conditions, emotional maturity, and career stability take priority. But life? Life doesn’t give a shit. Economic downturns, job changes, and personal problems still make children difficult.

Costs, children: raising a child is financially substantial, from basics like food, clothing, and shelter, to education, extracurricular activities, and medical expenses. As one or both parents need to work more, a balance between work and family is arduous. Hindrances, children: other couples delay children to focus on career, enjoy their freedom, or to reach a milestone (i.e. buying a home). But by the time these goals are achieved, age-related fertility issues may crop up. Worth it? Positives, children: there is no denying the joy and fulfillment of parenthood. Children bring meaning and purpose. The experience deepens your emotional intelligence and strengthens bonds. Bonus: being a grandparent later. Negatives, children: the costs, marital strain, and mental load get intense. Particularly early on, severely limiting personal time and career opportunities.

Optimal Time To Marry: Never!

Marriage. Individuals seek personal and relational perfection. A partner with whom they share unshakeable certainty. Stuff of the tales. Relationships are filled with evolving challenges. You can’t plan ahead of everything.

Costs, marriage: financial responsibilities, shared expenses, joint health insurance, and divorce settlements, as well as emotional costs loom large in marriage. Hindrances, marriage: concentrating on career, waiting for the “perfect” partner, or wanting to feel self-sufficient are common reasons for delay. People miss out on opportunities to build a life and grow together with their partner. Positives, marriage: earlier marriage allows couples to evolve and adapt to each other’s imperfections, while later marriage offers emotional maturity and financial stability. Negatives, marriage: waiting too long results in ingrained personal preferences, making it tricky to merge lives. Conversely, marrying early means life-altering decisions without full awareness of needs and desires.

Optimal Time For Anything? Never!

Uncomfortable conversations—confronting a partner, colleague, or friend—are delayed because they seem emotionally untimely. Costs: when poorly handled, emotional pain, conflict, or severed relationships. Hindrances: fear of retaliation or escalation causes people to wait, hoping for circumstances which rarely come. Positives: the sooner issues are addressed, the faster they are resolved. Negatives: waiting makes resentment compound.

Physical exercise. You’ll often hear claims of being too tired, too busy, too out of shape, too this or that to start a fitness routine. Yet, the longer they wait, the harder it becomes to start. Costs: time, effort, and money go into exercise. It can be painful, especially in the beginning as your muscles adapt. Hindrances: busyness, fatigue, and perceived lack of resources hold people back. Positives: the sooner you start, the more you benefit. Short-term and long-term. Negatives: waiting only worsens your health, heightens injury risk, and increases difficulty in habit development.

Don’t Exclude Yourself

You get the point. The best time is now. Not Monday, not the first of the month, not New Years. Right now. You can come up with countless negatives and excuses for initiating change. Eat healthy? Pffh. No time to prep food! Inconvenient! Quit smoking? Bleh. If only you stressed as much as I do! Journal? Hah. I need clarity with myself before I can write! Meditate? Eh. Get as busy as I am, and you’ll understand! Start a business? Pffh. But I have no money! Pffh, pffh, pffh…

Not only do you comprehend the issue, but you share it. Every human has it ingrained in their psychology. An array of mechanisms evolved to help us combat uncertainty, failure, and decision-making conundrums. They don’t always work in our favor. This desire for “optimal” timing is well documented. You ought to know. Humans are bizarre.

Two Cardinal Horrors

You’re scared. Scared of failure. Naturally. Humans tend to avoid situations where risk of failure is high. Particularly if the consequences are significant. What’s worse, you are more impelled to avoid loss than pursue gain. This means that when we think the timing isn’t right, we’re unconsciously seeking to minimize chances of detriment—be it financial, emotional, or relational. The fear then mutates into bias. Risk aversion. A roadblock from action whenever and wherever there’s uncertainty. The cryogenic chamber.

You’re terrified. Terrified of imperfection. Innately. People hold a belief that there is an ideal set of circumstances. Perfectionism. Perfectionists are inclined to avoid starting until everything is aligned. Chronic procrastination. Closely related to the renowned illusion of control—the bias which makes us believe we can influence events by controlling variables. The reality is, most variables are beyond our control. Waiting acts as a delusion of preparedness. No action is taken, but, hey, at least you feel safe…!

The Mind Is Lost—Show It The Way

You’re confused. Confused in beliefs. Normally. Individuals experience discomfort when they hold conflicting beliefs or attitudes—called cognitive dissonance. Intellectually, you know there’s no “perfect” time. Emotionally, you might not be prepared. To resolve this, your mind justifies the stall by emphasizing how substantial preparedness is. Even if it’s just an excuse to remain in your comfort zone. Stepping out of familiar grounds is uncomfortable. Procrastination “saves the day”. No matter the long-term benefits. Goddamn it.

You’re biased. Biased for now. Inherently. Everyone favors immediate rewards over long-term gains—the present bias. This can lead to postponing short-term efforts, irrespective of the future benefits. In layman’s terms, our brains are wired to prioritize comfort now, rather than reward later. The immediate gratification, delayed gratification dichotomy. Precisely what makes quitting smoking, exercising, or pursuing a career tough.

Everybody Faces The Same Monster

But, you’re completely normal. Here’s what science suggests us procrastinococcus sufferers do. The main findings. Delaying action culminates in increased stress, lower performance, and diminished outcomes. The longer we wait, the harder it becomes to begin. We put things off not due to a lack of time or resources, but to avoid negative emotions. And, we assume that future us will be more prepared—even though tomorrow and the first of January carries the same psychological barriers.

What is the alternative? The answer is short and straight. You ready? Well, you don’t have to be. The way: start before you feel ready. This strategy overcomes many of the cognitive biases and psychological patterns we outlined. I wouldn’t call it the “best” way. It’s the only way. A few tips: start small, start immediately; reframe your thinking; build tolerance to discomfort; embrace incremental progress.

Tips To Get Going

The tips say a lot. Start small, start immediately: this principle is supported by the compounding and progress laws. Progress augments motivation and positive emotion. Compounding takes care of the rest. Momentum to continue is the aim. Reframe: think of the advantage of starting, disadvantage of procrastinating, and weigh the benefits. Helps counteract bias and encourages sustained striving. Tolerance to discomfort: waiting is an emotional avoidance tactic, so spool your engine up and get going—despite the discomfort! Incremental progress: consistent progression overtakes large leaps. Focus on the daily, trivial actions, not on maximizing occasions.

Final Wisdom—A Word From Tim Ferriss

In the end, it’s clear the perfect moment does not exist. Research reveals that it’s a mix of cognitive biases, emotional avoidance, and overestimating future conditions. Don’t wait. Start small. Take the leap of faith. The circumstances will remain imperfect. Do it anyway. “‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.” said Timothy Ferriss.