Narrative Instinct: The Truth About Why You Live A Story
“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” - Patrick Rothfuss
MENTAL MODEL
Humans rely on stories to make sense of the world. It’s how we form chains of cause-and-effect, and why we look for patterns among objects, actions, and situations. The brain loves a story and tries to see one being told everywhere. It wouldn’t be wrong to consider humans the storytelling animal. If not for narratives, who knows how we would understand life’s chaotic nature. Stories impose order and create coherence in a world which feels random. Through narrative, we shape our identities, judge our actions, and give meaning to our experiences.
Without stories to tell ourselves, life becomes devoid of meaning. They are a psychological framework for interpreting our lives in a way that is manageable. Think of it as the lens through which we sift our experiences — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Crafting these stories gives us a sense of control. By being the author, we distance ourselves from chaos and temporarily live in an illusion of predictability. Hence our internal narrative does not always reflect reality, but it does act as a logic-based slab of concrete for us to stand on.
We are wired to seek causal narratives. Stories with a clear beginning, middle, and end. It’s why we favor simple explanations to complex, ambiguous realities. The only issue with this pattern seeking habit is we start avoiding necessary complication and perceive cause-and-effect relationships where none exist. We start to attribute the success of a particular company solely to the charisma of its founder, rather than a range of market forces, luck, and internal strategies. We begin believing that specific lucky charms or socks directly caused a winning streak in our favorite sports team, even though performance was influenced by countless factors — factors that were definitely not your “lucky” shirt. We fall for conspiracy theories that connect unrelated events because the story seems logical. We slip into marketing gimmick and propaganda, such as candidates labeled as “good” versus “evil”, neglecting underlying socio-economic factors.
This is all possible because the stories we tell shape our identities. They define who we are, what we value, what we believe, and where we come from. People narrate their lives to see where they stand in the world. And while these stories provide structure, they clearly distort reality and oversimplify complex experiences. So we need to remain cautious about the narratives we tell ourselves. They can obscure the truth. Or they can make it so ugly, we cannot bear to look at it.
Real-life implications of the narrative instinct:
History: historians might tell stories of how singular heroes and brave men and women led revolutions. Even though revolutions are, in reality, the result of a complex interplay of economical, social, and political elements.
Business Success: the “Steve Jobs” narrative in Silicon Valley emphasizes visionary leadership as the driver of Apple Inc’s success. The reality is that countless elements — design, market conditions, team contributions — played critical roles that Jobs alone could not have achieved.
Personal Relationships: in romantic relationships, people often create narratives about “soulmates” or how “destiny” lead them to meet each other or to explain their compatibility. While the mundane, but practical reality rarely seizes their minds. Their interests just align.
Politics: political campaigns frequently use compelling storytelling to simplify complex policy, making it easier for voters to understand and emotionally connect to their messaging. The real legislations are, of course, more multifaceted, and the voters don’t really understand what they are getting into.
How to use the narrative instinct as a mental model: (1) be skeptical of simple stories — when presented with a narrative-style explanation, ask whether it’s oversimplifying complex events; (2) seek other sources — gather information from diverse perspectives to get a well-rounded view of the issue, instead of “one side of the story”; (3) pathos and logos — recognize that while narratives are emotionally engaging, they need evidence to back them up, so cross-check them with objective data to see whether they’re just appealing or also accurate; (4) embrace complexity — acknowledge that most events are multifactorial and cannot be attributed to a single cause, and thus something like a systems-thinking approach would serve you well.