Are You Really Living? Revealing The Dumb Way To Waste Life

Life is not about the years. What they say is true. Age is a number. Your number can be big and your life small—and vice versa. Celebrating a rock flying around a nuclear reactor does not mean having lived more.

SELF-IMPROVEMENT

photo of coconut tree near seashore
photo of coconut tree near seashore

Life is not about the years. What they say is true. Age is a number. Your number can be big and your life small—and vice versa. Celebrating a rock flying around a nuclear reactor does not mean having lived more. Many do little living in long lives. Their days are analogical. Predictable. Mundane. Their mornings and evenings unchanging. Routinized. Repetitive. Their breakfasts and commutes and dinners barely differ. Bland. Monotone. This isn’t living.

Just Another Comedy—A Very Serious Comedy

Groundhog Day is a movie. A ‘93 American romantic comedy, starring people like Bill Murray and Chris Elliot. A fictional story of a cynical television weatherman in Pennsylvania who gets stuck. Stuck on February 2nd. A time loop. He first thinks it’s déjà vu. It isn’t. He puts two and two together. There are no consequences for his actions. That’s the turning point for our beloved weatherman.

Phil’s instincts take over. You can guess what happens next. Fun and dangerous human shit. What does not kill you makes you stronger. He spends loops indulging in binge-eating, one-night stands, robbery, and other activities. Eventually, the movie turns to romance. A theme unfit for us. Point is, Phil gradually grows more and more depressed and desperate to escape. He commits suicide in numerous ways. He drives off a cliff. He starts saving people from deadly accidents and becomes a fucking ice sculptor.

No Memories, No Living

The movie is wonderful. Watch it when the universe blesses you with a free hour or so. The ending is perfect. But this is a fantasy born in Danny Rubin’s mind. Keyword: fantasy. Yet, for lots, Groundhog Day hits home. They aren’t living. They are re-living. The same memory. On repeat. Phil got to undergo experiences. He did the random shit his intrusive thoughts instructed him to. And he still faced depression from the routinized nightmare he was in. A beautiful depiction of an ugly issue.

Life—from a psychological standpoint—is in great part shaped by experiences and memories. Routines work in direct opposition. A set of tasks, repeated day in, and day out. Phil’s February 2nd. Experiences help define who we are. They’re crucial. Crucial for our mental and psychological well-being. Cookie-cutter living is terrific. Stable. Predictable. Until it isn’t. The benefit morphs into the downside. Uniformity stifles our growth, creativity, and engagement with life. Put differently, we enter a loop similar to Phil’s.

Strike A Balance—Routine and Novelty

Although, isn’t consistency the path to success? True. Some order is necessary. It just shouldn’t be overdone. A monotonous life is less enjoyable and opportunistic than an adventurous counterpart. The reasons start up there. In your skull. Novelty confronts the brain. It stimulates neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to form new connections. Essential for learning and adaptation. Those who engage in new and varied activities retain better cognitive function. Especially important as we grow and age—our brains age by shrinking, they’re “use it or lose it” systems.

You are an absolute adaptation machine. Humans are. We accommodate to our surroundings and circumstances at extraordinary speeds. This is why things get boring. The unknown becomes known, the unseen seen, the unheard heard, and we’re satiated. Add a dull and unenthusiastic voice, a subject you aren’t interested in, and a resentful environment. Now you know why school classrooms and university lecture halls transform students into zombies. Adaptation holds true for pleasant and unpleasant experiences—the hedonic treadmill. Familiar things gratify us less and less. You aren’t excited to have a boiled egg. But what if the egg was an illusion? What if it’s actually a dessert? Different story. Curiosity is sparked. What flavor could it be? What texture? Novelty breaks the cycle, allowing us to derive more enjoyment from life.

jack o lantern with jack o lanterns
jack o lantern with jack o lanterns
In Relation To Development and Time

You want to grow. I’m certain. Why wouldn’t you? Well, inking untried experiences into your pages leads to precisely that. Personal growth. Interplay with the unfamiliar involves stepping out of your comfort zone. Doing so is great. I don’t need to parrot the reasons. Psychologists call it self-expansion. A process of us increasing our sense of self through novel activities, learning, and social interaction. The more you expand, the happier and more fulfilled you become. Memory backs this up. A life packed with vivid memories feels longer (“expanded”), whilst a monotonous life feels like it passed quickly. Ask retirees how their days slip away. Contrast it to youngsters, who complain of time running slow-mo.

Routine living puts you into autopilot. Your brain becomes less engrossed in the task at hand. Feelings of stagnation, dissatisfaction, and disappointment settle. Life seems dull. Days seem gray. Nothing excites. Well-being crashes. Mental health impediments are contributed to. Rates of anxiety and depression skyrocket. “Existential fatigue” clouds your lenses—you feel trapped, stressed, and unmotivated. The lack of newness contributes to a unique form of burnout. Life transpires into an endless series of tasks rather than a series of meaningful moments. This is what being too consistent does to you. Doesn’t sound great.

The Solution? Easy As Pie—Try New Things!

How is this overcome? Simple. Break the cycle. An experience does not mean something grand. It can be inexpensive—inexpensive in time, effort, and money. Trying a new recipe. Reading a different genre of book. Walking and/or driving a different route. What matters is you perceive it as new or unfamiliar and the brain spools up. Novelty is subjective. So long as new perspectives enter your head, you’re in a good spot. Don’t limit yourself to the health-freak status quo. Watching a movie or playing a video game or trying food can provide joy and well-being—even if there’s no physical exertion or intellectual challenge. I’m not advising you overdose and binge the entire Netflix catalogue and ice cream isle. I’m advising a balance.

The consequences of limiting novelty speak loud and clear. Humans need the unknown. People who don’t seek new experiences will inevitably find themselves in a rut—bored, frustrated, and dissatisfied. They might even develop a sense of worthlessness, disconnectedness, and hopelessness. You’ll regret it down the line. The most common regrets are those of not taking action. Not the mistakes along the way. The mistakes not made. Chances are, you’ll find yourself contemplating why you hadn’t tried more things and taken more risks when you’re gray and it’s too late. Prevent that. Go places. Do things.

How Much? Science Does Not Know

I hear you. The one obsessed with “optimal”. Sorry. There is no one-size-fits-all to how much novelty one requires. Some thrive on constant change and adventure, while others prefer stability with occasional journeys. What is clear is that moderate and frequent—moderate in quality and quantity—engagement with new activities ensures your welfare. The key is striking an equilibrium between the comfort of routine and excitement of novelty. Novelty doesn’t have to be extreme or expensive. Even tiny changes to daily living—a different hobby, breaking the morning or evening routine—is plenty.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, to make the most of the time we get, we ought to occasionally break our routines and change our experiences. Only this way do we stimulate the brain and form memories. Rewatching the same movie over and over again isn’t entertaining or effective. That’s what many do. Entire lives are lived on a rewinding cassette player which only knows one tape. Watch out. You only get 28,000 days. Use them wisely.