Exploit Authenticity: Reasons To Reclaim Your Unique Self

Growing up in a terrible environment does not make you terrible. You shouldn’t be ashamed. You need not hide your nationality, familial background, ethnic flavoring, or personal history. What was, was. What is, is. What will be, will be. You cannot break the laws of the universe and change what was. You can barely change what is. But you can influence what will be. Focus on that. Embrace all your colors and aromas, your flavorful takes, your uniquenesses and individualities.

Cool Outside, Normal Inside

A warning. It’s completely natural, expected, and normal to be avoidant of your background. A multiplex of psychological phenomena tie into it. Some we will explore so you know I’m not taking it out my back end. For now: being opposed to your past and your original qualities is normal. In your blood. Programmed into your blocks of code. Written into your genome. We’re noobs in that field. So you can’t change much. Sorry. I’ll be sure to inform you when you can plug a USB cable into your head to edit your DNA sequence for funzies, okay? Still waiting on that update.

At the moment, psychology is our best bet. Psychologists are nice. Suppose we place you in a room. A room full of them, the psycho experts. The premise: the psychologists “know” you are a highly-esteemed researcher in their field and highly respect you and highly this, highly that. Except you… You aren’t Roy Baumeister or William James or Carl Rogers or Jean Piaget. You are, well, a nobody. They don’t think so. Experts literally line up to nervously get a handshake and brief conversation with you. You’re the celebrity.

You’re A Fraud!

Yet that fame, support, and positive attention, it feels off. Something’s wrong. What if they find out? How will they react when they discover your status, that of Joe Schmoe? You feel like a fraud. Everybody thinks you’re introverted. Reserved. They respect your space. But the reality is, you’re afraid to talk. Scared of being exposed. The ones in that room, they call it imposter syndrome. This is a fear of being discovered as a, well, “imposter”. Pretender. Faker. Charlatan. Yuck.

In that situation, you genuinely were a swindler. I made you that way so you could feel what someone with imposter syndrome might feel. Real imposter syndrome is worse, in that you don’t actually need to be deceitful. It could manifest as reluctance to share your background due to a belief that you don’t deserve or society doesn’t accept it. Twofold, if the culture discourages a “kind” of success—business, arts. Thrice, if you come with an unkind backdrop. For instance, you’re born in a low-income family, establish a business, and achieve financial success. Family gathering. Do you share your glory? Nu-uh. You bottle it up along with fears of judgment or pity, since you don’t feel worthy or fit for your achievements.

How Cultures Die

Aside from deeply rooted biases, you might be shielding yourself from pigeonholing. Aspersions are cast on all. Condemnation en masse, one of the loveliest (sarcasm) human inclinations. Concealing your identity deliberately, be it personal, familial, or cultural, can be a defense. A shield against discrimination, “othering”, and stereotyping. An example of this is a Muslim woman or man with an accent. She may refrain from wearing a hijab to escape prejudice. The one with a regional accent might suppress it to sound more “standard”.

Over time, those distinguishing flavors fade. They disappear. The person mixes into their surroundings. So-called cultural assimilation. Individuals adopt the customs, language, behaviors, and beliefs of a dominant culture. At the expense of their own. This is prevalent among immigrants who avoid their native language and celebrating their holidays to “fit in”. Blend in for a month, and you’re you. Come a year, and you’re forgetting home. Arrive a decade, and you’ve lost the ability to speak the tongue and cook the meals you grew with.

Negativity On Repeat

You could, in fact, be happy about it. Maybe you didn’t like your past. Perhaps you hated it. Mayhap you unconsciously adopted societal biases against your own cult and self. You feel conflicted about integrating the parts. What if your historically oppressed community hinders you and keeps you from climbing the corporate ladder? Better keep it in. What if your professionalism takes a hit when you express your artistic side? What if they don’t take you seriously anymore? Might as well fragment your identity.

The attentive of you have noticed. A pattern. First, there’s a fear of rejection. Humans need acceptance. Social creatures. When unique aspects sit outside the norm, we fear exclusion or ridicule. Second, the shame. Society ranks attributes differently. Wealth. Appearance. Ethnicity. Health. So if your past is non-standard, you hide it out of fear of being seen as less competent. We call them unwritten rules. They prevail across lines of work, favoring traditional professionalism and discouraging individuality. Prejudice and unfair treatment due to ethnicity, gender, or other factors further push us to suppress. Stereotypes, like a woman who downplays her femininity in STEM, loom large.

Reality Sucks Sometimes

This is no good. Tech professionals shouldn’t need to hide their artistic backgrounds to avoid being seen as unfocused. Black women shouldn’t be required to straighten their hair to avoid microaggressions tied to natural hairstyles. Those who struggled academically shouldn’t be kept from speaking about their educational milieu. This should not be the norm. Hiding who we are. It results in surface-level relationships. An ongoing sense of disconnection. A limiter on creativity and authenticity to avoid immediate friction. The world does not need copies. It needs extraordinary. Unique. Unheard-of.

The most fascinating parts of the world stem from those standout holidays and traditions. Family reunions, exchanging red envelopes with money, chowing on dumplings and rice cakes, shooting fireworks, doing dragon and lion dances… Can you imagine China without the Chinese New Year? Mexico without the Day of the Dead? India without Holi? Brazil without Carnival? Spain without La Tomatina? Ireland without St. Patrick’s Day? Germany without Oktoberfest? Sweden without Midsummer’s Eve? The world without Christmas and Easter? Even McDonalds knows, offering the McAloo Tikki burger in India and Teriyaki burger in Japan.

Countless Benefits

Aside from awe-inspiring holidays, embracing uniqueness offers a plethora of personal and societal benefits. You grow. Psychologically. You understand and accept your background and traits, and foster mental well-being. You get resilient. Owning your identity grants you strength to navigate criticism and prejudice. You become creative and innovative. Uniqueness fosters diverse perspectives. Out-of-the-box thinking. Designs and ideas that really stand out. You form deeper connections. Authenticity attracts others who value similar traits and perspectives, and the sharing of culture reinforces bonds and mutual understanding.

But wait. There’s more. You even benefit others. You empower and inspire them to do the same. You contribute to preserving tradition and history, enriching society’s cultural fabric. As a business, you’ll outshine the competition. Seriously. Research echoes consistently that diverse teams outperform homogenous ones when solving problems and innovating. Inclusive companies are 1.7 times more likely to be innovative leaders in their industry. Diversity also reduces stereotyping. Like, a classroom where students share their traditions is less biased. And, if you’re a role model—parent, celebrity, political figure—you broaden societal acceptance.

Authentic, But Mindful

Of course, life’s not all daisies and unicorns. Don’t blindly take advice. The risk of stigma is there. My aim isn’t to pump you up. Being open can sometimes lead to prejudice or misunderstanding, conflict, or fatigue. If you know you mustn’t express something, better to be safe than sorry. This could be holding back mental health discussions in conservative cultures or critique in professional or social environments which value conformity. I don’t want you to lose your job. I don’t want you to need to explain and defend your identity repeatedly. I want you to be you. Rationally.

Examples, Suppression VS Expression

A few instances, suppression (bad):
Anglicizing your name to avoid bias as an ethnically distinct individual, like Wei Zhang to William.
Avoiding femininity in male-dominated fields, like women in engineering not wearing bright colors, skirts, or accessories.
Hiding your rural background, such as not mentioning being raised in a small town in a cosmopolitan environment.
Refusing to consume cultural food, like somebody who avoids bringing traditional meals to school or work for lunch to not be teased.
Concealing financial struggle, such as a corporate executive who does not mention their financial hardships experienced whilst growing up.
Hiding arts in a tough environment, like a young football player avoiding discussion of their love for poetry or painting with their teammates to maintain an image.

A few instances, expression (good):
Fusing cuisine for duality, like a chef with a mixed background who blends flavors and techniques from their multiple heritages.
Sharing adversity to inspire, such as an entrepreneur who grew up in poverty opening up about their story of overcoming challenges in the early days of business.
Incorporating native instruments in music, like somebody from a South American backdrop fusing the pan flute into contemporary genres for a diverse sound.
Discussing failure to teach resilience, such as a parent who overcame significant setbacks, failing out of college before finding their career path.
Relatability through personal stories, like a teacher with a love for travel who incorporates their experiences into their geography lessons, sharing pictures and anecdotes from adventures.

The Conclusion

In the end, embracing uniqueness is not just about personal fulfillment. It transcends the personal realm and has cascading effects on society and relationships. Suppression might serve you short-term, but it’ll make you dissatisfied long-term. Connect with your culture. Innovate by being authentic. Don’t miss these opportunities. “The more you know who you are, and what you want,” said Stephanie Perkins, “the less you let things upset you.”