Conflict Resolution Diagram: How To Never Get Stuck Again
“When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other’s ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.” – Dr. Gary Chapman
THINKING TOOL
The conflict resolution diagram or evaporation cloud is a thinking tool used to represent problems with no obvious satisfactory solution. The evaporation cloud was designed to address conflicts and/or dilemmas—trade-off situations with no acceptable compromise—by diagramming the logic behind the conflict and the assumptions behind said logic. Typically, the cloud has five boxes, starting with the want nodes, the reason behind the conflict in the first place, moving to the need nodes, the needs the want would satisfy, and ending with a common objective both needs are trying to fulfill.
The attentive of you have noticed: you end up at one, mutually satisfying point. That is the core idea of the conflict resolution diagram. Going from separate wants and needs to a conclusion that satisfies both parties. The evaporation cloud seeks to “vaporize” difficult problems this way. It’s an invaluable tool for handling conflicts peacefully and maturely, making sure everybody’s needs are met. The diagram also has the added benefit of being very simple and quick to use, since it consists only of three main parts: (1) the demands, proposals, or wants causing the misunderstanding; (2) the underlying needs of each side; (3) the shared goal or objective behind the needs.
The general process in applying the evaporation cloud is: (1) identifying what each side is arguing for, seeking to figure out what they want to do versus what we want to do; (2) defining the need behind each side’s position, trying to see what is satisfied by the proposal if it is acted upon; (3) writing and drawing out the diagram in an objective, factual way even if it causes emotional upset at first; (4) check the logic and whether each party agrees that you correctly identified what they want and need; (5) the last and most critical step, unravel what could be a win-win, mutually satisfying solution that meets the needs of both parties. As a general rule, there is something both sides want to achieve on a higher level but have different views on how. Acknowledge that you are on the same team. Draw that diagram!
If there are any pervading assumptions behind the proposals, discuss them. Shine as bright a light as you can to foster a mutually satisfying solution, a win-win, something that unites both sides. An example is debating redesigning your product website with a colleague: you are for it, they are against it. An hour has passed with no resolution. To solve it, you take your newly-learned conflict resolution diagram for a spin. Here’s what you do: (1) you write down both sides of the argument, in this case redesigning versus not; (2) you identify the need behind each approach by discussing the rationale, here you put forth a higher conversion rate while they argue to minimize resource use because such a big project could be risky; (3) finally, you work together to find out what the both of you want to achieve, and it is clear that the objective is meeting the financial goals of the company. Now a solution should be clear as day, such as making small changes to the website to balance risk and initiative.
Real life implications of conflict resolution diagrams:
Workplace conflict: a manager may want to increase productivity, while the employees want a work-life balance; use the diagram to challenge assumptions like “productivity means working overtime” and propose flexible scheduling or performance-based objectives—a win-win;
Business: a company has to balance investing in innovation with fluctuations in cash flow; challenge the assumption that “innovation means high upfront costs” and explore resourceful innovation and/or partnerships;
Education: a teacher might want to maintain a certain academic standard while students wish for more manageable workloads; identify assumptions like “good academic results mean excessive homework” and explore active learning or more efficient teaching tools;
Environment: the government has to balance economic and infrastructure growth with environmental preservation; challenge the assumption that “economic prosperity requires resource exploitation” and explore green, sustainable practices;
Personal relationships: one partner wants to adventure and travel, whilst the other values stability and routine; use the conflict resolution diagram to figure out a win-win solution like a pre-planned, structured travel itinerary or short trips.
How to create and use conflict resolution diagrams as a thinking tool: (1) clearly identify the two opposing demands, framing them in terms of “X versus Y”, like “spending time with family” or “spending time working”; (2) identify the desirable effects, the needs that each demand satisfies, such as “strengthen family bond” or “achieve career advancement”; (3) brainstorm the assumptions behind these needs, including beliefs that limit and perpetuate the conflict, like “family time demands every weekend and evening” or “career growth requires long working hours”—and ask whether these assumptions are valid; (4) identify a path that bypasses conflict and meets both needs, such as pursuing career growth through flexible hours whilst spending quality time with the family.
Pro tips: (1) prioritize understanding the motive behind everyone’s proposals above all else, since conflicts are typically caused by misunderstandings and not malice or stubbornness; (2) break down complex conflicts into multiple diagrams to more easily visualize the objectives; (3) seek out win-win solutions, shifting from a “either-or” to a “both-and” mindset, achieving the core objective for both in lieu of sacrificing one’s needs for the other. Super-mega-ultra tips: (1) if you encounter resistance, encourage the other party to be open and remind them that assumptions are not facts; (2) avoid oversimplifying by probing demands with “why” to uncover their roots; (3) ensure that your resolutions aren’t just theoretically sound, but practically applicable. Using these, you will be a goddamn conflict resolution diagram jedi.
Thought-provoking insights. “Conflicts are rarely about the goals but about the path to achieving them.” highlights how our objectives are typically mutual but we see different ways of reaching them. “The assumptions we don’t question become those that hold us back.” many a conflict has been started and persisted because of unchallenged or stagnant beliefs. “The best solutions don’t sacrifice; they elevate.” effective solutions are about synergy, improving outcomes for all parties. It’s not “you versus them” its “you and them”. We are on the same team. Collaborate. There is, in all likelihood, a mutually satisfying solution right there, waiting for the two of you to grab it.
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